She can't possibly be mine

After the baby was born, the panicked Indonesian father went to see the obstetrician.

"Doctor," he said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine."

"Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."

"It isn't possible," the man insisted. "We're pure Asian."

"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"

The man seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month."

"There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's just rust."

Operating Procedure Tonsillectomy

A family on the way to the hospital where their teenage son was scheduled to undergo tonsillectomy. During the trip they discussed how the procedure will be performed.

"Dad," the teenager asked, "how would they keep my mouth open during the surgery?"

Without hesitation his father replied, "They'll give you a hand phone."

Bottle is in the Patient's stomach

A psychiatric patient always say there is a bottle of beer in his stomach. The doctor tried to explain that this is a hallucination, but he did not listen at all.

Shortly there after, the patient treated at the hospital to undergo surgery for appendicitis. The surgeon and psychiatrist will use this opportunity to remove the hallucination.

Whole operation went very smoothly. When the patient regained consciousness slowly, with one hand clutching a bottle of beer, the doctor said: "We just have helped you to take out a bottle of beer from your stomach."

Having seen and examined carefully, the patient said: "Doc, a bottle of beer is in my stomach not this brand !"

Ensuring Victim Dies

In a murder trial, an ER physician who confirmed the death of the victim was called as a witness.

Lawyer: "Before you signed the death certificate, did you check the victim's pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: " heart rate, did you check?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, when you signed the death certificate, were you sure the man was still breathing or not?"
Witness: "I signed the letter after seeing the victim's brain is on the table in the emergency room. What is not enough to make sure the victim is dead?"

Famous surgical hospital

 

A director of Famous surgical hospital walk to check the emergency room. Until in Emergency Room, he see the accident victims. Then he ask the doctor on duty.

Director : what does he ill ?

Doctor on duty: hand cut off sir!

Director: Where is a part of his hand ?

Doctor on duty: it is still wrapped in plastic and ice

Then a director instructs Mr. A, surgeon doctors to connect the patient's hand by operating

The next day the director ask the doctor Mr. A.

Director: how about the operation?

Surgeon doctor A: successful boss!

The director prouds. The next day he visit the emergency room and meet with different patients.

Directors: what does he ill ?

Doctor on duty: his legs cut off sir!

Director: where is a part of his leg ?

Doctor on duty: This is Sir, still wrapped in plastic and ice

Then a director instructs Mr. B, surgeon doctors to connect the patient's leg by operating

The next day the director asked dr. B

Director: how about operations?

Dr.B: fine, boss !

The next day the director is back again to visit the emergency room and found a different patient.

Directors: what does he ill?

Doctor on duty: his head cut off the dock!

Director: where is a piece of his head

Doctor on duty: this dock, still wrapped in plastic and ice

Director: quick to call the doctor C for operation!

Then…

Director: how about operation?

Doctor C: fail ....

Director: why?

Doctor C: operation failed, because his head was wrapped in plastic so could not breathe ... ...

Tombstone

 

Everyone is shocked by the death of a famous cardiologist. In his will, He requested that tombstone will be placed on his tomb later carved a heart shape in accordance with his field.

At the funeral, all his colleagues had come. There ophthalmologist, orthopedic surgeons, pulmonary specialists, internists, sex experts and others. Everything looked sad all amazed with the shape of tombstone depicting the heart of service and dedication of people who were buried today

Suddenly one of the specialist physician sobbing and half-hysterical. This makes surprise party the other mourners. They wondered why a consultant was crying so much when he is not family or close friends of the deceased.

Then one ophthalmologist said, "my friend, do not be sad every person will ultimately return to Him". Then answered, "No, I'm crying not because of fear of death or left to die but I am ashamed if I die, what will shape my tombstone..!!! "Said sex expert doctor who is crying.

Breast Milk

Inem go to the doctor with holding a baby.

Not long Inem called in by doctors. Apparently the doctor was handsome.

Finished examining the baby, doctors asked to Inem

"Mom, these kids drink breast milk or milk bottle ..??"

"Breast milk, doctor ..." said Inem

"Well, then I have to check you," said the doctor.

Inem want it. Her clothes were opened, and carefully examined by a doctor

Inem was pleased that her doctor cute.

After examining the doctor said,

"Wow, no wonder baby skinny, you had no milk."

Inem said, "I did not breastfeed, doctor.!!"

"So who else is feeding ...??" doctors confused.

"I was only a servant ..."

Side Effect of Viagra

A man consults to the reproduction specialist.

The patient: doctor, I have a problem when having sexual relationship
the Doctor: Let Me check!
A few minutes later…
the Doctor: Your Condition is quite good sir, this I give you viagra as tonic when having sexual relationship
the Patient : Is this medicine have a side-effect?
The Doctor : Before we discuss this matter, much  better we wait it’s front effect then it’s side-effect
the Patient:...?!!!

Don’t Breathe

There is a patient come to a doctor. He asks the doctor about his illness.

The patient : "Doctor, Why do I always get hurt in my chest when I breathe?

The doctor : "its easy, you do not need to breathe"

The patient : “what…?!!!” (“the mad doctor” think the patient)