Famous surgical hospital

 

A director of Famous surgical hospital walk to check the emergency room. Until in Emergency Room, he see the accident victims. Then he ask the doctor on duty.

Director : what does he ill ?

Doctor on duty: hand cut off sir!

Director: Where is a part of his hand ?

Doctor on duty: it is still wrapped in plastic and ice

Then a director instructs Mr. A, surgeon doctors to connect the patient's hand by operating

The next day the director ask the doctor Mr. A.

Director: how about the operation?

Surgeon doctor A: successful boss!

The director prouds. The next day he visit the emergency room and meet with different patients.

Directors: what does he ill ?

Doctor on duty: his legs cut off sir!

Director: where is a part of his leg ?

Doctor on duty: This is Sir, still wrapped in plastic and ice

Then a director instructs Mr. B, surgeon doctors to connect the patient's leg by operating

The next day the director asked dr. B

Director: how about operations?

Dr.B: fine, boss !

The next day the director is back again to visit the emergency room and found a different patient.

Directors: what does he ill?

Doctor on duty: his head cut off the dock!

Director: where is a piece of his head

Doctor on duty: this dock, still wrapped in plastic and ice

Director: quick to call the doctor C for operation!

Then…

Director: how about operation?

Doctor C: fail ....

Director: why?

Doctor C: operation failed, because his head was wrapped in plastic so could not breathe ... ...

Sir there is a man !

On that night, a husband is praying and waiting for the birth of his baby. He is asking God to give a boy. In the next room, his wife is accompanied by a midwife. Because of hot weather, all the windows in the house was opened.

Unrelenting a husband is praying "Lord give me a boy ... give me a boy ..," as he sit down and prostrate.

Suddenly come in a stranger man through the bedroom window where his wife there. The wife and the midwife is surprised then shout for his husband, "Sir there is a man .. man!"

Heard that voice, a husband was pleased and thought his son was born. He is getting hard to pray and give thanks, "Thank God ... Thank God ..!!!

Seeing the lack of reaction from the owner of the house, a stranger man steal valuable items and then run through the same window. The wife and the midwife in shock that could not speak.

Finished praying, a husband run into the room where his wife there.

"Where's my baby?" He asked

Midwife woke up and said "not yet birth, there was a man entered through the window and steal your goods….”

"guess who am I ?"

 

"Help..Help.. I was robbed" a villager shouted. "Where’s sir?" Ask a member of the security. "I was robbed at home. This morning I found an envelope containing two pieces of cinema tickets in the house. In the envelope was also written "guess who am I ?". Without thinking, while free, my wife and I went to watch a movie. Going home, we were very surprised, the entire contents of broken homes, jewelry and money missing. But we found a gift on the table that read "Now You Know Who I am!" ...

Tombstone

 

Everyone is shocked by the death of a famous cardiologist. In his will, He requested that tombstone will be placed on his tomb later carved a heart shape in accordance with his field.

At the funeral, all his colleagues had come. There ophthalmologist, orthopedic surgeons, pulmonary specialists, internists, sex experts and others. Everything looked sad all amazed with the shape of tombstone depicting the heart of service and dedication of people who were buried today

Suddenly one of the specialist physician sobbing and half-hysterical. This makes surprise party the other mourners. They wondered why a consultant was crying so much when he is not family or close friends of the deceased.

Then one ophthalmologist said, "my friend, do not be sad every person will ultimately return to Him". Then answered, "No, I'm crying not because of fear of death or left to die but I am ashamed if I die, what will shape my tombstone..!!! "Said sex expert doctor who is crying.

Breast Milk

Inem go to the doctor with holding a baby.

Not long Inem called in by doctors. Apparently the doctor was handsome.

Finished examining the baby, doctors asked to Inem

"Mom, these kids drink breast milk or milk bottle ..??"

"Breast milk, doctor ..." said Inem

"Well, then I have to check you," said the doctor.

Inem want it. Her clothes were opened, and carefully examined by a doctor

Inem was pleased that her doctor cute.

After examining the doctor said,

"Wow, no wonder baby skinny, you had no milk."

Inem said, "I did not breastfeed, doctor.!!"

"So who else is feeding ...??" doctors confused.

"I was only a servant ..."

Cigarettes were not Dangerous

Many people worry and scare with smoking, but after investigation by some experts in the field proved that smoking was not dangerous. Then the experts decided to prove it by taking from some tale of ancient times in which the ancestors of the time We also have proven through several experiments, the evidence as the story below, he remained in good health.

For more details can be proved by the discovery by some of the experts below:

Once upon a time, there are three men. They were always together wherever they go. But all three have a different favorite.

A. Mr Jon Poni (like to play female)

B. Mr Jon Joni (like drinking alcohol)

C. Mr. Jon Doni (like all types of cigarettes).

One day the three friends are walking around without purpose. Suddenly, all three met with a kettle / jug (like the story of Aladdin). Then one took it and had wiped the kettle. A moment later the smoke out of the funnel kettle and gradually changed into a hideous creature that is a malignant jinn (genie). Then the genie is laughing: "Ha ha ha ..." and said "I am Jin Ifrit!

Since you have freed me from the boiler that I will exert whatever you demand.

Three friends who at first panic and fear into joy and reflective and thinking about the opportunity and the willingness of each possible only once they have encountered in their lives. Then they choose a willingness to follow their passion.

Person A will say, "I want young women from various nations around the world and put it in a sealed cave and leave me for 10 years."

Pufff ... ... ..!! with the blink of an eye genie refine the query A.

Person B says, "I want all kinds of wine from around the world for supplies for ten years and put in a sealed cave and leave me for 10 years."

Pufff ... ... .... !! with the blink of an eye genie refine the request B.

Besides the C said, "I want all kinds of cigarettes from all over the world for supplies for ten years and put in a sealed cave and leave me for 10 years."

Pufff ... ... .... !! with the blink of an eye genie refine the query C

After even 10 years, the genie appears again to open the door of their cave as promised. So the genie is going to open the cave door A, when opened it out of the A and emaciated condition, could not stand because it was not able to move the knee because the days just to satisfy lust with women.

Suddenly the A and the land fell dead!!

After that, the genie is going to cave person B, when the door is opened then the B came out with a very distended stomach because the days get drunk. Way too staggering.

Suddenly the B fell the ground and die!!

After that, the genie went to the cave of the C and open the door of the cave. Suddenly the C out in perfect health and keep slapping the genie. Cursing the genie he said: “STUPID GENIE!!!” “WHERE IS THE MATCHES?!!!”

Safety Lesson him: "Tobacco is not dangerous as long as there is no matches”"

What is Sex?

One morning a child who just entered elementary school asked his father, "Dad ... Dad. What is Sex?, Dad"

The father was shocked to hear the child’s question. He pictured on today's modern currents that make open-minded people, including young children.

According to the concept of sex education are warmly discussed, the father began searching for a suitable age and hope that he hoped his son would not be left behind in the flow of modern education.

So the father began to give an answer to told beetles and flowers, the eggs hatch into tadpoles and then frogs, rain and the seeds that grew into the shoot, followed by the formation of a baby in the womb.

Before concluding that all the answers, the father also slipped romance between he and his mother since the age of high school until the birth of a child who asks it.

Suddenly the child sobbed. The father in astonishment. "Uh, why, dear?"

The father asked in amazement. But the child was still crying.

"The answer is very long. Keep out where to write the answer? Hu ... hu ... hu ...," the boy kept crying as he handed English workbooks that on page

front is written:

NAME: ....

SCHOOL: ....

CLASS: ....

SEX: ....

Women and Pain of Birth

In the old days, the women are always going to suffer pain when

childbirth.

Circumstances that this was unfair, then changed after the incident

following:

The women jointly appealed to the gods that

Enforced justice, namely that the men as the cause of the

ill should feel pain when the wife is giving birth.

It turned out that this petition is granted, so since then if an

wife gave birth, so easy and relaxed with a feeling he

can bear children, so this is very helpful knowledge

reduce the risk of medicine in childbirth.

Besides it is pathetic that with her husband

wriggled out and howled in pain for

safety of the wife who gave birth. The men thought it.

This unusual, because this will increase the male heroic stars

households.

However, the situation changed since the events below:

One time a woman from the famous family in the village

will give birth. The family and village neighbors

come take this birth by contributing waiting outside.

The husband has provided a place to sleep besides the wife,

complete with all the tools to anticipate all

pain possible.

When birth occurs, his wife with a loving calm

love the smooth running of this birth. However, the husband who

tensely waiting for the pain still did not

still, not happened to him until you hear a shriek

the child.

To my great surprise was visible outside the hype, it turns out:

Mr. Head Village (Village Head) rolled over and shouted

pain.

All the audience was silent for a moment, at once all that women

It is located around silent and earnestly pray to

gods :

"Let all this suffering as long as we're the ones who bear the

all the secrets remain our property! "

Well, since that moment, each event will be accompanied by the birth

suffering endured by sincere and willing women

Grand Father Advices

 

There are three advices from my grandfather to choosing the prospective spouse:

1.Don’t look for a wife as trader, because of being worried by her trade habits. its would bring up until the honey moon, later she will say"Do you want this or,not ? i just have this"

2. Don't look for a wife as doctor, because of being worried by her habit in hospital. Its would bring up until the honey moon, later she often arrange and always say"Be Careful ! Don't many movements, not yet this hour, don't descend first! "

3. But look for a wife as teacher of the KINDERGARTEN, if her habit in school bring up until the honey moon, at least she will say"Be Careful be careful, front straighten, good !, repeat again, clever....! "

Side Effect of Viagra

A man consults to the reproduction specialist.

The patient: doctor, I have a problem when having sexual relationship
the Doctor: Let Me check!
A few minutes later…
the Doctor: Your Condition is quite good sir, this I give you viagra as tonic when having sexual relationship
the Patient : Is this medicine have a side-effect?
The Doctor : Before we discuss this matter, much  better we wait it’s front effect then it’s side-effect
the Patient:...?!!!

DISCIPLINE of the WORK of OUR COMPANY

Clothes :

You is suggested dress in accordance with the pay that you receive. When we see you wear luxurious clothes, bring newest French bag or Italia shoes, we consider you live have enough by your pay and consequently will not have the salary increase until you are seen again poor.

Sick Permission :

We do not receive again the certificate of sick from the doctor as proof that you are sick. If you can visit the doctor, we think and you can work too.

The surgery action :

The surgery action is now banned! you as employee here, you must have all of your body organ. The surgery action can decrease your organ. Previously we recruit you with the complete body organs. Reduce the number of your body organs think as the violation of the work agreement.

The affair in the office :

Only might in the place that is determined in behind the warehouse, generator space, , the toilet (see the regulation about the toilet) that all of them were installed the monitor camera and the implement of the video recorder.

The free day :

the employees get 104 free days the work each year, that is on the Saturday and on Sunday!

The leave entitlement :

All the employees are given by the leave when that simultaneously each year as follows: on January 1, on August 17 (Indonesia Independent day)

The employer dies :

When die, the relevant employee, must give the notification 2 weeks beforehand because you must carry out the handover of the work to the employee of your replacement.

The use of the office toilet :

Too much time is thrown away in the toilet! From at this time, we will arrange the schedule to the toilet for the employee in accordance with the place of the name alphabet, for example: the employee early the name"A"might to the toilet at 8 o'clock to 8.20. The employee early the name"B"from 8.20 to 8,40, etc.. When you could not to the toilet in this schedule, you must be waiting up until the next day. In the case emergency, the employee may exchange the toilet schedule with the other employee.

The lunch hour :

the thin employee gets the rest eat for 1 hour, because mereka must eat more to look healthy!

the normal employee get the rest eats for 30 minutes in order to get the pattern of eating that is not abundant untuk maintain the form of his body.

the fat employee receives rest time 5 minutes because they just need drink fiber and the diet pill.

Thank you for your loyalty to the company. We are the company who really care about the positive attitude and the balance of empolyee

The Codes of Test

 

A group of medical student discus how to answer the multiple choice test tomorrow. Because they feel that test is very difficult and they don’t study then they agree to cheat to the student who is cleverest in the class. The cleverest student is agree too. They plan to make a code to facilitate the test tomorrow.

A, if the cleverest student holds his nose,

B, if the cleverest student holds his mouth,

C, if the cleverest student holds his shoulder,

D, if the cleverest student touches his chest.

The next day, the test begins. The cleverest student is placed in the middle and the other student travels around him while hoping for the answer from the cleverest student. The seconds, the minutes, the hours then passes. The students observe their cleverest friend ….. “holds the shoulder, then scratch, holds the nose from time to time sneeze, holds the chest afterwards scratch, holds the mouth afterwards scratch his chest”. the test ends.

Afterwards The students ask to him, “Are we succes? “.the cleverest student answer,”I’m very sorry my friends, last night I ate prawns, and when the examination my body is very itchy all suddenly, may be I get prawns allergy ….”

“So that codes.……?!?!”
“Sorry, I feel itchy, want to scratch,” answer the cleverest student.

Don’t Breathe

There is a patient come to a doctor. He asks the doctor about his illness.

The patient : "Doctor, Why do I always get hurt in my chest when I breathe?

The doctor : "its easy, you do not need to breathe"

The patient : “what…?!!!” (“the mad doctor” think the patient)

Send to the wrong address Email

 

A pair of middle-aged,husband and wife who together from the professional circle feels tired with all activities in the capital. They decide to go on holiday to the Bali island. They will occupy again the room of the hotel that is same when marrying 30 years ago. Because of her activity, the husband must fly beforehand and his wife just following the next day. After check in the hotel in Bali, the husband finds the room that is equipped the computer that was connected to the internet. Happily he writes the intimate e-mail to his wife in his office in the Jakarta city. Unfortunately, he is wrong to type his address of the wife's e-mail and without know he make mistake he continues to send this e-mail.

In another place in the Jakarta area, a woman again from the funeral of her husband who just died. Upon arrival at the house, she check her e-mail directly to read condolences statements. Suddenly she is unconscious after finished read the first e-mail. Her eldest child read this e-mail (not long afterwards faint also), that it told:

To: my lovely wife

Subject: Dad already arrived!!!

I know definitely you are startled but  the happy  news from me. Here they have put on the internet also, they said it can send the news for beloved people in the house. I just until and already check-in. They have also prepared all of them for your arrival tomorrow. Impatient i am waiting for you. I hope your trip here also fascinating like my trip yesterday. Love you Mom, Dad

PS: Here is very hot. If you want, children are joined too